This Is Where I Draw The Freaking Line!

I just received the longest email known to man about how horrid my book was (Dmitry’s Closet).  Unfortunately, I had to delete the post.  Why?   It was so long and such a drag until I refused to let it stay up. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m used to getting the occasional email about my work.  And I normally take it in stride.  Countless readers have given me constructive criticism, offered their services and tried their best to help me.  I appreciate them, and I understand their purpose and points.  Some of their words have helped me A LOT.

But when someone sends me a three page letter on why they hated my stuff, I have to draw the line.  First of all, who has that type of time if they have a life?  Now, I did read the blog response. And I know a lot of authors who wouldn’t  have taken the time.  So, at least!!!

Anyway, you guys are my friends and my fans.  So tell me if I’m wrong. I’ll believe you.  But I just can’t take it anymore. Maybe it’s because I’m on my cycle and I am irritable, but maybe there is certain thing called “tact.”  And this email didn’t really have much of it.

If this reader felt so compelled to share her response with just me, then why didn’t she just send me an email?  I post my email everywhere.  Latrivia@LatriviaNelson.com.  And all of you know that I get 100 emails a day. Not all of them are nice, but I take time and I respond.  It’s important to them.  It’s important to me.  And it’s part of being a published author. Not everyone is going to like you.  I get it. I do. 

Instead of sending an email, however, she blasts me on my own blog and expects a nice response.  WTF!!!  That, my friends, is bullshit. And I am tired of always being nice.  You don’t come to someone’s house, fart in their living room and call it air freshener. And you don’t go to someone’s blog, basically tell them to quit their day job and call it constructive criticism.  Kiss my ass.

I print out every email.  Good and bad.  I look over them. Study them.  I outline the points that they make, use them to make my work better.  But I’m still a person with feelings.  I know (whine, whine) but I am a person, and I take my work seriously.  If I don’t defend it, who will? 

I spend countless hours away from my family, friends and life, doing what I consider to be the best job in the world.  I’m going to have feelings about it.

It’s not easy going after your dreams.  And often, your first, second and even third try can be semi unsuccessful, but I’m proud of the Medlov series.  It’s successful to me.  We have sold over 25,000 copies. I’ve made wonderful friendships as a result, and I’ve faced my fears.  That is so important to me. 

Now, there are things that I’m getting better at…like the copyediting element.  And now, I have Karen, and she is awesome.  She’s helping me fix things.  We’re going back and fixing the grammatical errors that made me a leper in the IR genre.  But at least, I’m in the genre.  At least, I’m giving it all that I have.  At least, I’m living my dream. 

When I first started out, I thought, I’ll just wait until everything is perfect.  But after Adam nearly died, I realized that no one is promised tomorrow.  I looked at him lying in the hospital bed and knew that there is no perfect time.  There is only right now.  Trust people. This is truth.  Don’t let fear steal your dreams from you.  Fight for them with everything that you have inside of you. 

So, I went balls to the wall, and I did it.  RiverHouse was born out of a need to share my voice and my thoughts with the world.  As imperfect as my books  may be, I still did it.  I put it out there, paid a horrid copyeditor, and I published my first book.  Now, I’m on my tenth.  If I should die tomorrow, then at least I will have accomplished something on my list that means so very much to me.  How many people can say that? 

I used to think that I had to take the “stuff” that people put out there about me.  But one day I looked in the mirror and realized that I don’t have to take it, and I won’t anymore.

You know what really irks me?  There are some people out there who hide behind their computers, behind these made up names, and these computer-generated photos.  They blast authors, singers, anyone who is trying to express themselves, and they do it anonymously so that they don’t have to face public humiliation after they purposely and maliciously humiliate you. 

They pick people apart.  They accuse you of having your friends and family post reviews just because they don’t like your book and couldn’t imagine that anyone else would.  In essence, they call you a freak fraud. 

They stomp on your dreams and your aspirations. 

They hope that you’ll quit, give up. 

Their entire purpose in life is to embarrass you!  But they have never penned a thing, published a thing, had one creative thought in their entire life that they followed through with. 

And authors like myself, who put their real picture and name up or authors who use pens names but put their real feelings and dreams into print are forced to deal with what they have said.  And we don’t get to do it anonymously.  We have to face the humiliation just as we are. 

They hide behind emails and computers.  We face the world.  Who is really coward? 

They go online and posts under several names and give horrid reviews.  And they don’t buy just one book. It’s like they can’t wait for you to release something else so that they can attack that too. 

Why?  I don’t know.  They do it though.   And then they curl up in their beds ALONE and sleep all night with a smirky little grin on their faces, because it makes them happy to tear you and your dreams apart.  What a trip!!!!

Well, I don’t have to take it.  I won’t take it anymore. 

There are going to be bad reviews.  And women and men who spend their money and their time deserve and opportunity to share their opinions.  I believe that. And I honor that.  I want to hear from them.  I want to be better for them and all my readers.

But I deserve the right to defend myself as well from that “other” type of reviewer – the one who wished that they could have done something else but didn’t, the one who never found the perfect opportunity so she just gave up and spent her entire life being bitter and attacking others. 

As an Interracial Romance Author, I get 10-20 emails a week from hate mongers who tell me that I’m not even human and have no right to write about a black woman and white man marrying each other.  I have to hear that my children are an abomination and that I don’t have a soul and should be back on a freaking plantation.  It’s hard enough to try to deal with those idiots. 

But on top of that, I get letters from sisters who would rather see me flipping burgers at a restaurant than pursuing my dreams.  I’ve already given the finger to the bigots of the world.  It looks like I’m going to use the other hand to give the finger to you too.

Fifty years from now, if God Almighty sees fit to still bless me with breath in my lungs, I’ll still be writing. I won’t ever quit.  So stop sending me emails and asking me to.  You’re wasting your time and more than that you’re pissing me off.

Do me a favor.  If you are only interested in attacking me, then don’t buy my books.  This is for the entertainment of people who want to do more than tear others down.  I want to hear from them.  I want their criticism, their support – not yours!!!

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35 thoughts on “This Is Where I Draw The Freaking Line!

  1. Hell to freak no, I don’t believe this crap. If I know who she is I would have nigger moment on her ass. if you don’t like a book that fine but don’t sit there act like you can do better. Latrivia you are the most amazing talent awesome brilliant author out there. Your skills are phenomenon. I thank GOD and your muse for giving you ideas and know how to write your stories. I am proud of you. YOU rock my world with your stories. I look forward to all of your stories. I wait on pins and needles for your book release. I love and enjoy any book you have publish and I cannot wait for your other books to be release. I wish I know who this heifer is because I would verbally breakdown how stupid she sound. No one disrespect my Dmitry. He is the man. NO ONE talks bad about Latrivia she is wonderfull and talent writer. Her books are awesome. I WOULD ALWAYS BE YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN!!!!! I LOVE YOU AND DON’T YOU DARE LISTEN TO THAT FOOL. YOU GO GIRL!!!!

  2. Latrivia,

    As you know I am one of your most dedicated Stans and I love you and your work because I identify with the imperfect characters, and I like your sense of humor. But there are authors out there that I have read that I do not like and I have sent emails to say that I do not like their particular work, but to speak about someone’s personal life is waaaay beyond the line. I, like you, HATE people with typewriter muscles, you see them in person and they just love you and they didn’t mean it like that. Absolutely no balls at all. I think that that is just nasty, and my preacher spoke about people like that yesterday in his sermon. Just trashy people that nobody wants to be around. You know misery LOVES company and they just want to pull you down with them, but I ask that you keep your head up and your fingers on the keyboard. I’ve read your books and there are missed words and grammatic errors, but as someone who has had to write before, I understand that I am guilty of the same thing. There are probably errors in this message now. There will be errors in my future messages. The point that I’m making is that because I’m a semi intelligent person and I get the gist of what you’re saying it is not that serious. I hate to tell you to do this, but so what…. Send that bitch back an email that says, GO KILL YOURSELF. Well I love you and and will continue to support you. By the way when is D4 coming out?

    • Andrea,

      It’s so good to hear from you! How have you been? I know school has been going for you and several other readers. I love the “typewriter muscles” statement. It seems that this is a byproduct of the Internet era. And misery does love company. I should write a book soon about those types. I’m not sure that I could finish it though. I would probably get too disgusted.

      You know I love you guys. I say it all the time and dedicate books to you, but the words don’t fully encompass how I feel. I’m going to write her off. I started to send a reply back to her after I sent the first one, which was so much calmer than my blog post, but then I thought about it and realized that I had the power to control the situation and I shouldn’t hand that over to her too. So, I just cut it off and moved on. Now, I feel so much better.

      Now, on to D4. I know that I owe you guys. I just sat down at the computer and looked over it and hated it. So, I hit backspace and started over. I’m nearly done now, and while it’s short and sweet, I think you’ll enjoy it more.

      You know my emails and my blogs often how a few mistakes in them, but I get so excited when I’m typing until I just can’t help it. I’m getting better though. And I know exactly what you mean. It’s the thought behind the statements that matter. Anyway, I’ll use the attack as a way to make me a better writer. I’ll work on my skills and do my best. And then we’ll all be happy.

      Take care. Big hugs and kisses to you. I know it’s been a long year and you’ve been in my prayers.

      Latrivia

  3. Hey Girlfriend,

    Hmmm, and they say the freaks come out at night! What a horrid thing for a person to do, of course this person has no life so she decides to open her mouth and show all of her stupidity!
    Thank God we are only responsible for what we do or say, not what the other person does or say; be it good or bad we only reap what we sow and pay back is a mother. So girlfriend keep your head high.

    Now you know I think The Medlov Series should be made into a mini series for HBO, Showtime, Stars, etc. Keep doing what you do, because you do it so well!!

  4. I love your work, Mrs. Nelson and I have seen what these haters have written about you online. I think it is a shame that we can’t uplift each other instead of making personal attacks. This woman clearly needs attention and is not getting it at home if you know what I mean. It’s always the old hags and unattrative women who make such a fuss. If she had any life at all she wouldn’t be trying to destroy your work. I’m glad that you went off on her. Maybe if more authors did, these people woudl back off and get a clue. She doesn’t have a man. She’s one of those who sits with her book wishing someone could look over her few extra pounds extra facial hair.

    • Hallie,

      Thanks for all of you support and your many emails on all my books. I don’t know if she is lacking at home or unattractive, bu what I do ask is that she be tactful about her suggestions. And it’s not just her. As I have said, there are just “some people” out there who seem to want to hurt you and see you destroyed. But I’m praying for them. Maybe telling her to kiss my ass was harsh, but so was three pages of why my worked sucked. Words for words, right. I’m just glad to have you all as readers and such good supporters. And I continue to do what I do for you guys.

      Latrivia

  5. I completely agree with your response to the person who sent you that crappy email. I love the Medlov series, and I too give that person the middle finger. To sit there and type out a three page email of hate is just f*cking dumb. If a person doesn’t like a book, fine don’t like it, but get over it. Never in my life have I written an author an email when I didn’t like their book. That is just plain rude, and shows no class. Since they have so much time to write that negative sh*t, then they should try writing a book and see how hard it is.
    Keep up the great work Latrivia.

    • Roz,
      One thing is for sure. It’s definitely a task to write a book, a poem or even an essay. I don’t write authors and blast them and their work either. I either like it or I don’t. I’ve read over 200 different authors and some of them were so amazing until their words are still burned into my mind. Then others, I couldn’t finish. But I appreciated their work, their effort and their time. When someone works hard and shares something so special with me, the last thing that I want to do is tear them down for it. But I appreciate you, Roz. I appreciate all of you. I could say it 1,000 times and I would mean it every single time.

      I’ll keep up the work, just please continue to keep supporting me.

      God Bless,

      Latrivia

  6. That “critic” clearly is nuts and has some issues of her own. I read a lot of romance fiction, I mean A LOT of romance fiction. Your Medlov series is the most brilliant writing I have ever read! Your characters come alive on the page, just awsome stuff. Do not listen or be upset by such NONSENSE!

    • Thanks so much, Gerriv. I’m so honored to have you place me in such high esteem. I hope not to let you down. Working hard on new books as we speak, and I am truly enjoying writing the books. I hope to continue to keep you entertained and thanks so much for your support.

      Latrivia

  7. It’s just jelousy Latrivia. Some people hate to see others succeed,so what do they do? they throw a monkey wrench (a nasty email) at your body of work hoping to knock you off your game. Hoping that they can put fear and doubt in your mind to where you don’t have faith in yourself. It’s obvious that the gift of writing is what God blessed you with and he is always right, and as long as you please him everything else is……… Haters are going to hate next time tell them “to go kick rocks with an open toed shoe”.

    • Anna,

      You’re absolutely right. Thanks so much for your support. You and quite a few of the other women have been around for over three years. And it doesn’t matter if you’ve been around three years or three days, I appreciate you. People can spend money on many things. But they choose even in this recession to support me. How can I not be proud of that?

      Kick rocks. LOL.

      Latrivia

  8. I will put in my 2 cent later I am too hot right now after reading your post that some super silly b**** tried to come at you and your family.

  9. Long time Latrivia, this is Rosalie , reading this , is disturbing , anyhow as we say in my island , people do not pelt stones at empty mango tree , there are some people in this world today just overfull with one of the seven sins, this person is overflowing with envy , and hate , he or she is just an injured mind lying on the side of your road of life , just skip over and leave him or her lying there , right now people are very different and difficult , just leave them be , energy wasting on them is keeping your from focusing , why waste it . raise your chin up and walk on by , it is just not the time to gave away your self on ignorance , here is something to tell the , “KISS YOUR RIGHT CHEEK AND HAVE THE RIGHT ONE JUMPING ‘ feel good and laugh out loud .

    • Hi Dear Rosalie!
      I need to come to your island and relax for a while. I’m taking the advice and I’m listening to all the wise words, and I’m soaking in up and using it to focus on the positive.

      I appreciate you, and I promise to deliver more Dmitry soon:-)

      Latrivia

      • That is what you have to do , just focus , the world is such a happy place , you have to be in that space and time , don’t let anybody let you miss out on your time of joy , anyhow just get my Dimitry going , and stop depleting the energy for your novels on this person . People like him or her need beating with a cocaire broom , that is a broom made our of coconut branches , it is use to beat out evil spirits .

  10. Sorry to hear that there are so many (MEAN, HATEFUL, JEALOUS, SPITEFUL, and oh sooooo, LONELY) people out there who don’t have anything better to do than to tear others down. As you stated in your blog it’s a genre and if they are not into it then why read it. I love, love, love your novels. A very good friend of mine use to say to me when I would say if so and so says one more thing about me I just might scream or confront them. She in turn would say let it roll off you’re back because if you’re on their mind that means they are not talking about anyone else (LOL) . So that means YOU have left some sort of impression on them that they just can’t shake. All I can say is keep up the great work, you make me hear the accents, feel the love that truly goes on between two people in love, I see nothing wrong with a little romance in black and white, and you are the BEST!!!!!! Press through and stay true to you. Laughing all the way.

    • Leigh,

      That’s a great way of looking at things. I’m so glad that you enjoy the work and so glad that you can really feel the characters. After all, at the end of the day, it’s supposed to be for your entertainment. I remember working long days at the office and the only thing that would help me calm down and enjoy the evening was a good book. I like to think about doing that for others.

      And you know, I am laughing all the way now. I love that so many women from so many walks of life love what I do, especially since I do it for them…for you.

      I appreciate you taking the time to write to me. Postiive things are always welcome here. That’s for sure.

      Latrivia

  11. I don’t understand how anyone would actually take the time to write about how they don’t like something, it’s almost as if they don’t have anything else to do. People should stop being so critical of everything they don’t agree with. You always have a choice, but to completely criticize you publicly on your site rather than by email is tasteless and complete b.s. I sincerely understand why authors have a cut off point in terms of communicating with fans and other people, but I commend you for always having an open dialogue. It’s difficult being a self-published author, but you have broken the mold. People like that (the person in reference) just don’t get it. If they don’t like what you write, then I seriously question what they would describe as “quality” reading material. People like that are usually narrow-minded. Please continue to do you because for every critic there are many supporters.

    • Chaz,

      I share your view. There are things that I see and read that isn’t for me. And I know that those things aren’t for me, so I don’t go back for seconds, but I don’t go on a tantrum and blast them for their work.

      I appreciate you support. In fact, I appreciate everyone’s support. I keep all the emails, and I know who sends me messages. It makes me proud. And it makes me feel like I’m a part of something else special.

      Thanks for all of your encouraging emails and your continued support of my work.

      Latrivia

  12. I will be brief in my reply – please keep doing you!! It is truly sad when people try to steal others happiness. All I ask, is that you continue to write and I will continue to BUY!!

    • Jennifer,

      Thanks for your vote of confidence. I’m working as we speak. My husband has been loading me with coffee and Snickers, and I’ve been typing away. I appreciate you and your support.

      Latrivia

  13. Good Morning!
    So sorry some people are busy bodies have nothing better to do with ther time. Their called dream killers and don’t give them the power to kill yours. God gave you a gift don’t let the devil take it away. Keep your head up girlfriend,if their mad about your books give what they want because they make me VERY HAPPY! Laugh in the face of the devil he REALLY hates that.
    Love ya chic!!

  14. I never heard of you until I read Dimitry’s Closet. I was a new Kindle user and bypassed this book because I did not think I would like the plot. However, I purchased the book and loved it. I read the second book and anxiously awaited the book about Anatoly. Now I am anxiously awaiting Saving Anya. I think you are a very good author. I judge this because I go back and reread all three books in the Medlov series. I also read Ivy’s Twisted Vine. I say KEEP WRITING and DON’T LET ANYONE RAIN ON YOUR PARADE. I appreciate any black person who is doing something positive. Hurry with Saving Anya. Love ya!!!

    • Patricia,

      Thanks for giving me a chance. I’m so glad that you have enjoyed the Medlov series. The women on this blog are serious about Dmitry and all his “kin.” As a matter of fact, I need to get back to posting things about our characters and setting the mood for the new release. I’m sure you’ll enjoy the conversations. We have a lot of fun. I agree with your words. I can’t let them take anything away from me. And I’m honored that you think that I’m a good author. I hope to impress you more very soon.

      Latrivia

  15. Hey Latrivia,
    I just wanted to check in since I’ve been MIA for a while and to let you know that I loved the Grunt and finding Opal even though I neglected to give feedback on the blogs.
    As for the e-mailer they sound like a truly miserable piece of work and sometimes you will have to put these people in perspective and consider the source of the criticism. I find it hard to believe that anyone could read DC and not enjoy any part of it, period – Which would only leave the haters, losers, emotional cripples, and degenerates.

    Remember, any authentic stride in creative arts will provoke reactions from the ignorant and crazy; I suspect that the venom is because you are successful in writing and publishing your works and because readers like us will always be waiting for more.

    In Closing
    (In my native Queens NY accent)
    F*ck Dat email, Gurl!

    • Ebony,

      It’s so good to hear from you. And knowing that I can always depend on you guys to support my work does two things. 1. It makes me wan to write more. 2. It makes me want to write better stories. Every time that I sit down in front of the computer, I do my very best. It’s in part because I know that you all have supported me and expect my best. Now, there is still room for lots of improvement, but the way that I see it, the only way that you know to improve is to try.

      Thanks so much,

      Latrivia

  16. Hi Mrs.L
    All you need to do is keep smiling in spite of people who mean you harm. We all love and appreciate your work! Trying to wait patiently for the next installment of The Chronicle of Dimitry!!!

  17. Hi Latrivia,
    I recently discovered your work. I have to say that this blog post resonated deep with me. Never have I had the energy or courage to fight back against some of the most hateful mean spirited criticism hurled at me. When I read your post I pumped my fist in the air with joy. You were right, you do have the control in this situation. Not some random stranger that wants to piss on your creativity and tell you it’s just a little rain. Stay the course, live your dream, be the wonderful artist that you were blessed with the talent to be. Let your haters be your motivators. I do. Your fans adore and appreciate you. And that is definitely enough.

    • Sienna,
      Glad to have you on the blog. Sorry that I’m slow responding. I have been typing up a storm at home. I do appreciate your support and your words of encouragement. As authors, we have to support each other as much as our wonderful fans do. It’s amazing what we can do when we are all in this together. Pump your fist, Lady!!!!

      Trivi

  18. Latrivia:

    I have been reading for decades and I have my favorite authors/books, who I turn. When I read about your Medlov series, I knew I had to check it out. You have become my favorite – favorite author – I am not just saying this- I have read over 700 romance/historical novels.

    Please continue with the Medlov series. I have nothing to say about the individual who wrote negative comments, because I am a firm believer that – what and how you treat others, will ultimately come back to stare you right in the face.

    Latrivia, you have far more supporters than haters, thus I refuse to give this individual anymore time. It is all about what you created, the unique story line, and just a refreshing change from the same old boring stuff in books.

    I am so looking forward to Saving Anya. I am going to be out of the country for the holidays, so I didn’t preorder it (I fear it may get rained/snowed on). Please continue writing these absolutely great storylines (who would think of mixing Russian vodka and chocolate -LOL)

    Thanks
    Lynn

    • Lynn,

      Better late than never. You are so awesome. Thanks so much for such an honor – to be your favorite puts the pressure on. I take every single fan I have to heart. I try to listen to you, work to provide you a quality product and ensure that you enjoy the books. This is your entertainment time, the time when you can let your hair down and relax and move into another world. I appreciate each and everyone of you. I know you could always take your support somewhere else. But you ladies are great. You’re right here with me.

      I can’t thank you enough.

      Latrivia

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