The Skinny on Interracial Romance: Can Dating a White Man Hurt You?

Tonight on my radio show, we will talk about a very sensitive subject: Can Dating a White Man Hurt You in the Black Community.  I’ll be eager to hear from many of you.  Don’t forget to tune in.  www.blogtalkradio.com/latrivianelson.  You can also call in or email me at latrivia@LatriviaNelson.com

If you miss the show, you can always download and listen later.

XoXo and all that jazz,

Latrivia

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12 thoughts on “The Skinny on Interracial Romance: Can Dating a White Man Hurt You?

  1. Hi,
    Latrivia , my husband is what you call in my country callaloo (mix) he’s Indian mix with Portuguese, he’s a handsome man , and i love him to the extent i really don’t care what the world may say or don’t say, and that includes family, friends,and community , because as far as i am concern , misery likes company , and no one is to make me feel unhappy and end up lonely , for twenty five years , with four children , we still look at each other and smile , it is time human beings on all sides ,stop toting negative feelings , and just live, love , learn and grow with each other, to make this short space and time we have here on earth a better journey , until .

    • Rosalie,

      Thanks for sharing. I discussed this topic because of the constant emails. And I think that we all agree that it’s better to be happy with who you love than without him to make other people happy!

      Thanks so much for sharing your story and he sounds dreamy!

      Latrivia

      • Hi,
        I am in the Island of Trinidad and Tobago , you must visit on a holiday sometime , you can come for the Carnival , which is a larger form of your street party , when every thing work out for you and the family , especially Tobago , which is our sister isle.

  2. Hey Latrivia,
    I didn’t get to listen to the show live, but I listened via download this morning.

    The black men that are so hyped about the issue of African American women dating outside their race are ridiculous. Statistically black women do not date outside their race at the same levels as black men. Notice the caller’s pure ambivalence to the interracial relationships on the side of Black men and White women.

    I believe that most of this depends on the social and economic structure which the person is coming from. In certain socioeconomic structures Black females and White males are the bread winners thus people see a stable “potential” partner being “taken” by someone that is “other”. I believe that most of these kinds of reactions can be attributed to poor self esteem on the “offended parties” part.

    I’m married to an African American man but before our relationship I was in a serious relationship with a Caucasian man. Honestly, most of the venom (not all) came from AA men and white women who seemed flabbergasted that we could have a mutual attraction or anything in common. I won’t get into specifics but I will say that most of these people were miserable to begin with so they have a vested interest in keeping the collective communities (black and white) apart an at each other’s throats. My relationship cost me nothing in the real sense because I wasn’t depending on these individuals for my own happiness. Bigots on the job, in the family or community of any race shouldn’t be entertained or treated as if they have valid points to share.

    Example:
    The caller that suggested that AA women would have more in common with a man from the continent of Africa (no specific country) than an American of a different race sounds ignorant. His analogy seemed base of the premise that AA women who date white men are desperate and AA men are a waist, thus we should be looking to the continent of Africa (sarcasm intended) because we share a skin color and that’s obviously the most important factor in a relationship.

    Latrivia and all my wonderful blog mates please understand that some people will always have issues with ANYTHING that you do concerning your own happiness because their unhappy. I’ll leave you with this point: when I married my AA Husband the complaint then turned into he acts white!

    For my sisters,
    Ebony

    • Ebony,

      What else is there to say? You said it all.  The end of your blog entry fascinates me.  In the end, only our happiness is important.  You made some very valid points.  I plan to use your entire entry as a blog post if you don’t mind. 

      Thanks for your awesome feedback,

      Latrivia

  3. Latrivia use all of it if you think it will help us move forward.

    Though I feel the gentlemen was probably of a certain age his interpretation was off and he’s old enough to know better.

    Sorry about the long rant ya’ll.
    Ebony

  4. Hi Latrivia,
    Thanks, he is dreamy (smile) anyhow i agree with Miss Ebony’s blog, and it seems to be a world wide thing , i believe it is a psychological thing though,but dam if you do and dam , dam ,dam if you don’t , i have a strong belief, that there was a reason for the Creator making us different shades , and that was to test our love level , to see if we can really love ye one another, and for some reason ,we are failing with hate and prejudice.those of us who transcend the barriers , see things in a different light , i believe we are attuned to something far more than we know .

    • Rosalie,

      I’ll agree with you there. I look past the color of people’s skin and I don’t expect the same (because life could never be that easy) but I demand respect. In looking at the attitudes and actions of others, I have made friends whom I would have missed out on had I not. The Creator is an amazing being and just like the flowers in the field, I think that we are all designed to make the world more beautiful.

      It was just bugging me because of the many emails. So, I felt compelled to talk about it on the show. I’m amazed. I didn’t know black men even bothered with my show (men in general, minus a small few) but they evidently do. And while I appreciate there input, I wanted to really look at “both sides of the coin.” I don’t know if my understanding is still where it could be, but I will continue to discuss it with people who have an opinion. Maybe my findings will make for a great book.

      Regardless, I have developed these blogs, videos, books, shows, etc. for us. Black women who have an interest whether it be just in romance novels for in real-life relationships need a place to be understood and outspoken about their desires. I will never feel like we are outcasts, trouble-makers, rejects, etc. I think we have a right to explore, a right to enjoy, a right to stand by what we like.

      That’s the end of my rant. I have enjoyed both you and Ebony. If it made one person feel better or gave them an ounce of more clarity in their situation then it was worth it!

      Latrivia

  5. Hi Latrivia,

    I’m going to approach this topic from a different angle. From the perspective of 3 very close friends who are in their mid to late 30’s and are single and looking. All 3 women did the “right things”. They made sure to put education first and earned their degrees 2 have Masters and the third is working on hers currently. Neither on has been in trouble with the law, they are church going and respectable. But they played what I like to call “The Waiting Game”. Waiting for that special black man to come into their lives. Now there is nothing wrong with that, but what they have noticed is that as they have aged, the dating pool has dwindled.

    What they have found in their quests are (and I’m paraphrasing here). Men with at least 2-3 children some by different women. Some with no ambition, no desire or passion. Some who are allergic to the word “work”. Others who have been incarcerated, and some who have so many issues that you wonder how they function in normal society.

    So ladies all I have to say is this. Life was meant to be lived. Set your own standards and live by them. Don’t allow others to project their issues,hangups,insecurities or prejudices onto you. You only live once, and sometimes waiting can be just as unfortunate as inaction.

    And I’ve dated outside of my race for years. Men are men no matter what the color.
    XOXO.

  6. If its your family they will get over it, strangers who cares what they think.Life is hard enoungh at least you should go through life with someone who you love and who love you back. If that person happens to be a white man forget everyone else you only live once. As for as respect supposebly black women are the least respected even by some black men. When you ask a black man why he dates white women he say they are “easier” then black women. Like Chris Rock said” Black men have been exercising their options forever why not black women”

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